Brain damage , 5 years on.

It’s hard too believe it’s been 5 years , although 2020 has been a very strange year where time stood still and flew by all at the same time. 2021 marks the fifth anniversary of my brain injury , resulting in permanent brain damage. It is the fifth anniversary of the new me.

For people new to this blog and who missed my earlier writings on the subject , a small summary. 5 years ago I had an inflammatory reaction in my brain and after a recovery period this resulted in permanent damage.

What does that entail. Problems with my speech, as in putting strange words in sentences and incoherent speech. Short and long term memory problems. My brain doesn’t make the distinction between useful and unuseful information anymore so everything comes all at ones. Reading is sometimes an issue and movement as well.

After a period of recovery and trying to regain as much of the old me as possible I am now at the point of acceptance , knowing that improvements will probably not be there anymore.

Despite it being pretty obvious from the start that a full recovery wasn’t in the cards for me. I have always been trying to find a way to do just that. Consciously or subconsciously.

And where planning and resting are very important pieces of the puzzle and they work for most of the time there are periods that nothing works. Whatever you do you will be fully confronted with the brain damage. And the only thing left to do is take rest and ride it out. The good news is better days will come. There will be a moment when the system and rhythm will do their work again. I used to try and stretch the limits as soon as such a run was over I now just enjoy the benefits of having a good run.

That said it’s will always be hard not functioning on a ‘normal’ level , whatever that is, and admit that your wheels simply spin slower that the rest of the world. It has given me great inside in what I can and cannot do. How far I can push things and know when to stop. It’s not an exact science , believe me I have tried making it one, so planning and resting a certain way does not always give a steady result. It comes and goes in waves. The limit is not a clear line in the sand and sometimes I find myself on the other side of it. And it can be frustrating at times. You can go overboard and do to little and just do laps in your head.

I am very happy with all the things I still do, work that suits me and hobby’s I can practice. I fully realize how fortunate I am , as one doesn’t get a second run after such a run in with your health , it’s not everyone’s fortune.

It’s a strange place we all find ourselves in at the moment, and knowingly or unknowingly we all run into our limits. And like many others , I was not in the habbit of talking a lot about my state of mind. But talking really helps, someone who listens is helping. So if you find yourself in a bind, mentally or otherwise, find someone to talk to , ask for help. Or write , get it out, and maybe share it later. It really helps.

November 2019 – Dividend

11 months in 2019 dividend wise, so another update is due. Not an extraordinary one but slow and steady is the name of the dividend growing game. November always is a month with just a few dividend paying company’s. At least in my portfolio it is. And this time it’s no different. Just a few but still a nice bump if you look at last year. Passive income is simply fun to watch. So here are the November numbers !

14-11-2019Apple EUR10,31

September 2019 Dividend

Another month in the dust, thus time for a dividend update. This month there are a few new dividends paying out due to the growth of the protfolio. Also a few, one bank and two insurers, which are a bit of a coincidence , as I bought the shares for option construction purposes and was expecting having nonen of them at the time they were handing out the dividends. Nonetheless it’s here and I am clouting it. A bit of luck really.

Its yet again a nice improvement from last year, although a bit skewed with the Dow Dupont merger and split process and the dividend by accident with the bank and insurers. It’s good to have a growth and progress in the portfolio. It keeps one motivated !

See you all next month.

The numbers:

28-09-2019Vanguard dividend appreciation fundEUR1,51
16-09-2019Corteva IncEUR0,35
16-09-2019DowDuPont INCEUR0,82
14-09-2019Dow INCEUR1,91
11-09-2019NN GroupEUR76,00
02-09-2019ABN AmroEUR60,00

August 2019 Dividend

It’s been a while. Writing articles got a backseat to real life. So I am a bit behind. But we’re back. With August and the monthly dividend report. It’s the usual really. An increase in dividend income comparing the numbers with last year. And not surprisingly because of the fact I am still building the portfolio.

Another reminder of how important it is to be consistent and dedicated, it works. It’s better too invest a small amount consistently , then larger amounts when you have money ‘left over’.

Another fact of life, the world is still in turmoil. Brexit, nationalism, trade wars , oil you name it, it’s happening. Just the day to day madness really. Just keep building that portfolio and stay calm. One step at a time upon the ladder of investing.

Ok enough talking, it’s numbers time :

02-08-2019Amsterdam CommoditiesEUR24,00

Option trade diary #5 – Advanced metallurgical group

This one is not for the faint of harted , today in my option diary series , Advanced metallurgical group. Which in a very short description makes difficult products out of precious metals. With emphasis on difficult, and precious.

It’s a very hard and volatile market on any given day, it’s a highly cyclical business and it’s always at the forefront of any wrinkle in the market. But it’s a nice stock to own just because the stuff it produces is only getting harder to come by and it’s something which will be more expensive in the future , and since were here for the long run , this is worth a bit of a gamble. So I sold two put options.

These are the options I sold :

AMG Put 14.00 20 December 2019, for 50 Euro’s
AMG Put 18.00 20 March 2020 , for 175 Euro’s

As you can see, these were sold right before a dip in the market due to tweeting presidents and the like. So my timing was a bit off. So this case shows this stock can fluctuate a bit , I told you so. Target is 50% or less before I buy them back. See you next time !

July 2019 Dividend

A new month, a new dividend round. And another nice monthly revenue, which in most part because of the ever growing portfolio , not so much extreme dividend increases. Around 167% more. Seems steep but mostly because of the growing number of shares and ETF’s which pay out. Compounding interest at it’s finest. The 8th world wonder some say. Exactly as it was intended. A nice bit of passive income.

We live in strange times, as always maybe. But it’s rather strange indeed, geopolitics, environment and economical. The switch towards a more sustainable way of living which is upon us. Which has not yet been seen in any of the current driving numbers. It’s time we look at things in a different perspective. Calculate our production and profits not just in money and growth. Take into account things like health, impact on the environment and our surroundings, happiness and more of these kind of parameters. These should all be taken into account when calculation the gross national production of countries or the results of any company.

Unfortunately we are not there yet, until we are it’s all about the benjamins. Speaking of which , here are the July dividend numbers :

25-07-2019Walt Disney CompanyEUR0,68
24-07-2019Cisco SystemsEUR8,83
16-07-2019W.P. Carey IncEUR9,32
11-07-2019Vanguard FTSE all world UCITS ETFEUR114,27
05-07-2019Unibail - WFDEUR16,41
02-07-2019Porsche automobil holdingEUR22,10
02-07-2019Nike IncEUR1,98
01-07-2019Coca ColaEUR5,41


June 2019 Dividend

Dividend update June 2019, the eight miracle of the world, compounding is taking a hold on my dividends. Another significant increase in dividend payouts for my retirement. Whenever that will be. Anyway, most comes from the usual suspects. Some from newer positions but mostly existing ones. Comparing with last year it’s another nice increase of about 36%. Which is very nice indeed.

It only becomes real when you start accumulating real assets. In theory it’s all very clear. But you have to have a bit of faith in the long term plan. Which can be pshycologically challenging , and at times it is. But when you look at the growth and the numbers , it all makes sense. So just start and keep at it, remember showing up consistently is all it takes when talking about achieving your goals. In this case showing simply means keep investing.

So without further delay the overview :


20-06-2019Icahn EnterprisesEUR1,77
20-06-2019Vanguard dividend appreciationEUR1,26
18-06-2019HAL Trust EUR53,14
14-06-2018DOW incEUR1,86
13-06-2019Deutsche PfandbriefbankEUR100,00

Personal finance, it’s very personal.

I read a lot on personal finance, just too learn from people and their approach. It’s not just the financial independence part I’m interested in. Mostly I am more interested in how people go about the decision making process. A always pick something useful out of that. One thing I have learned it’s an incredible personal journey. The math is different for everybody, as well as time span, risk adversity and all other factors one might take in consideration.

There are some basics , most people start off by paying off consumer debt, student loans and mortgages. The variation starts from that point on, one might want to pursue a world trip , others want a better retirement or really early. All of these goals have different metrics. So there is not one right way , generally speaking the basic and key metric is spent less than you make.

One thing I have learned along the way is , make sure you know what your end goal is. And make sure this is really what you want. This is generally the hardest part to figure out. It’s has partly to do with the amount of time it takes achieving these life changing goals.

Also goals can change over time. And that’s ok, nothing wrong with that. Just don’t change them every month week or year. The journey in itself is rewarding as well, focussing and maintaining an outlook with a better and more secure future will pay off sooner than you think.

As it being personal one key thing will change for most. Your stress levels will decrease once your debt decreases and your net worth increases. Your mindset will change for the better. More mind space is available for things other than worrying. In my experience things will get better fast, more relaxed and your mind sharper. The main thing is getting better not just financially but also mentally and physically.

As with all long term goals you will get lost on the way, it helps defining and keeping an eye on the main prize at the end of it , but setting intermediate smaller goals in sync with the end goal keeps you enthused on the journey. Find those small goals and make a list. Once you get one , mark it as done. Celebrate it ! Share it with people that are important to you. Once the list is done, make a new one and save the old one. It’s a nice reminder of where you came from. It has worked for me in every part of life, not just finance. With my recovery as well. It keeps you grounded and thankful for progress made. It’s not an easy task getting in (financial) shape, but the ups and down will make you stronger !

While goals and time lines may vary wildly , the benefits and rewards that come with more financial stability are around the corner. The beginning might seen hard but your persistence will pay off. Find your first goal and stick to it.

May 2019 Dividend

May has passed , summer ahead and so it’s time for another dividend report. As usual May is a busy month for dividend. This year there has been an increase in dividend yet again, due mainly to new or additions too existing positions and some increases. As well as Munich Re , a large part of the total dividend any month they pay out. This month it was in May, but last month it was in April. A one on one comparison is a bit tricky so therefore I am not doing that. But it’s sufficient too say it’s up. When we look at the year as a whole we already have two thirds of the total dividends of last year in the pocket. And were not even half way yet. Al is going very well indeed.

The rundown :

02-05-2019Bayer AGEUR14,00
06-05-2019Munich ReEUR212,75
09-05-2019Amsterdam CommoditiesEUR36,00
20-05-2019K+S AGEUR10,00
28-05-2019ASM InternationalEUR30,00

April 2019 – Dividend

Another month passed by quickly. And so it’s time for another dividend update. This month and the next are always big on dividend coming in. This year is no different. It’s also got a few decent increases within the payments which is a nice bonus. Although this is exactly what is supposed too happen, it still feels as a bonus.

Mind you it can also go the other way round. Dividend payments can stop just like that and stock prices can implode as well. The last decade has been amazingly good. So for all of you who are just starting out. Have a long focus and don’t be deterred when things go sideways. Because they will at some point in time.

For now we are enjoying a nice ride, so here are the results for April :

25-04-2019Ahold DelhaizeEUR70,00
24-04-2019Cisco systemsEUR8,75
16-04-2019WP Carey Inc. REITEUR9,21
10-04-2019Vanguard FTSE All-WorldEUR57,71
02-04-2019Vanguard Dividend AppreciationEUR1,36
01-04-2019Coca Cola CompanyEUR8,03